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On to the course! To remind you, there are 21 obstacles across just under 12 miles.
Tough Mudder London South 2013 course map |
Obstacles
1. Kiss of Mud
After nearly a mile run comes crawling/ sliding under barbed wire in a delicious water/mud mix.
2. Glory Blades
Let's leap over a 10' wall. Easy.
3. Walk the Plank
Jumping off a really, really high platform into water. I hope there's water. With my fear of heights, I just can't wait to leap into nothing and get freezing cold and wet. Looks like there's a bit of a swim afterwards, too.4. Log Jammin'
Also known as the Log Bog Jog, it is constructed of - surprisingly - logs, balanced across each other so you have to go over and under them. I've seen a lot of photos where there is barbed wire on the top of the lowest ones, forcing you to get down in the mud to get under them.
5. Dirty Ballerina
After 2.5miles of the course, suddenly the ground opens up in big, dirty holes. Guess what? Climbing in and out of them is not an option, we have to leap from edge to edge, trying not to fall into the muddy water in between. And, as the day goes on, the walls with crumble and slide into the water, making the gaps wider and the jumps more difficult.
6. Human Gecko
I'm really glad that Sarah, Kariss and I have become obsessed with Boulder Brighton and have spent the last few weeks climbing in every spare moment. Because this obstacle looks fun! Not sure why the water is green though? #infection
7. Arctic Enema
You know the score. It's freezing. We have to be fully submerged. It looks like this!
8. Kiss of Mud #2
As with the first obstacle but this time we'll have travelled 3.5miles so I think we will be gagging for a lie down. Happily, our spectators will probably be able to take some photos of us squirming through the mud. Can't wait.
9. Boa Constrictor
This doesn't look so bad in photos but the videos show that the clearance between the top of the tunnel and the top of the water is tiny. Hello claustrophobia and fear of drowning.
See those guys swinging free across the monkey bars as if it's easy and natural? See that woman clinging on for dear life just right of the centre? Want to bet which one I'll be?
I was hoping that the Matterly Bowl people wouldn't want Tough Mudder carving big lumps out of the ground to create this obstacle. Sadly they have and, as someone who has been running up and down beaches for fun, this is going to hurt. A lot.
12. Hold Your Wood
Unsurprisingly, this is a section accross which we have to carry a lump of wood. No saying what the terrain is going to be like though, as they've said this can be uphill or through water or the ubiquitous mud.
13. Fire Walker
Run through fire. Or jump over fire. Or, and this is exciting, jump across fire and into water. Exciting, why? Because you get the joy of potentially being burnt with the effort of jumping and of course the chance to get totally soaked. Again.
14. Island Hopping
So excited for this one! I'll be reliving Total Wipeout - hope I get across!
Another one for the fans of claustrophobia. I was quite worried about this one as the wooden boards across the top of the trenches mean the tunnels probably won't collapse on us. Probably.
16. Electric Eel
They obviously think we will need a lie-down by this point in the course (over 7 miles) because this is the second obstacle in a row where we'll be laying on our stomach.
But this time we will be getting electrocuted. As you do.
17. Hero Carry
I couldn't find out what this obstacle is but the chances are it involves carrying more logs (or Kenny!). I'm voting we all join together for this ----->
I won't cope by myself!
Big walls. Really, really big walls. Hoping to stand on someones shoulders, to be honest!
Another obstacle without a lot to go on but I found this picture. So I guess it's swimming or crawling in a trench with so little head-room that most people seem to do this on their backs. They really like combing the fears of drowning and claustrophobia!
Sadly, not the climb that we nick-named Everest at Boulder Brighton, instead a greased half-pipe. No flipping clue how we can get over this. Especially as we will be totally knackered, having run, crawled, swum and slithered 11.5miles by this point. Human chain, perhaps?
To finish we get to charge across a very short stretch. A little bit more running, maybe I can muster up the energy to do that... if it didn't involve being electrocuted!
And that's all!
Time for a drink and a well deserved rest (and the masses of food I'm going to pack in the car!)
Come on TeamCCPS, we can do this!
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